Oksepost

26/09/2001

Presidendi tiim valitud!

Filed under: junk — Sildid: — muda @ 06:54

president

Presidendi kantselei grupipilt

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25/09/2001

Karl Marxi pojapojad, Clara Zetkini õetütred

Filed under: junk — Sildid: — muda @ 02:08

From: KINGSLEY MASEKE MOBUTU <kingsmmobutu@yahoo.com>
To: <****>
Date: 25. september 2001. a. 01:54
Subject: URGENT BUSINESS/ INVESTMENT ASSISTANCE.

ATTN: THE DIRECTOR/ C. E. O.                               CONFIDENTIAL
FROM: MR. KINGSLEY MASEKE MOBUTU
TEL: 27-83-477-4870, FAX: 27-83-477-4871
JOHANNESBURG, SOUTH AFRICA.

REQUEST FOR BUSINESS/ INVESTMENT ASSISTANCE.

I know that this letter will come as a suprise to you. I am KINGSLEY MASEKE MOBUTU, one of the sons of late president MOBUTU SESE SEKO of Zaire now called Democratic Republic of Congo (D.R.C.). I got your contact through South Africa Information Exchange centre, so I decided to ask for your assistance in transferring some money in the tune of US$27M(Twenty Seven Million US Dollars) out of South Africa into your private or company’s account.

This money was part of the fund secured by my Father for the purchasing of arms and ammunitions during the fight between my Father’s goverment and the rebel force loyal to the late MR. LAURENT KABILA. I became aware of the existence of this money through my mother when we escaped from Zaire to Morocco as aresult of the coup that toppled my Father’s goverment.

The safe boxes containing this money is now deposited in a private Security and Finance Company for safekeeping here in South Africa, though the real content of the boxes was not disclosed to the company. I am presently living in South Africa with my family as an asylum seeker (refugee) and the
financial laws of South Africa do not allow asylum seekers right to deposit such huge amount of money in a bank. In view of this, coupled with the way this money was acquired, I cannot invest in South Africa. Based on this fact, I need a reliable and trustworthy foreigner who would who would assist me transfer this money into his account outside South Africa and stand as a beneficiary by coming to South Africa to negotiate and transfer the money. The major thing I need from you is the assurance that the money would be safe when eventually transferred to your account oversea.

I am prepared to offer you for your assistance, 25% of the total sum, 5% will be set aside for contingencies and 70% would be kept for my family investment in your country. Finally modalities on how the transfer will be executed will be conveyed to you once you establish genuine interest.

Contact me on the above phone and fax number for further explanation, not forgeting to put your private phone and fax number for easier communication.

Please, if you are not interested, I shall be most grateful if you maintain the secrecy of this matter. I am looking forward for your immediate reply.

Yours Truly,
Mr.Kingsley M. Mobutu.

21/09/2001

Kaubanduslik teadaanne

Filed under: junk — Sildid: — muda @ 07:49

gevalia

FW: Pisuke huumor

Filed under: junk — Sildid: — muda @ 07:47

Korraldati meestele naistetundmise võistlus. Võitjaks tuli 10-aastane jõmpsikas. Zhüriile laekus kaebus. “Olen 68 aastane ja alates 12 eluaastast neistega jännanud ja nüüd kuulutate mingi poisikese võitjaks!”
Vastus kõlas: Esimene küsimus: Kus on naistel karvad kõige rohkem kräsus? Õige vastus on Aafrikas, aga mida Teie vastasite ja veel joonistasite!
Teine küsimus: Mis on naiste tähtsaim organ? Õige vastus: Rahvusvaheline Naisteorganisatsioon. Aga mida Teie vastasite ja veel joonistasite!
Kolmas küsimus: Mida naised iga kuu ootavad? Õige vastus: Ajakirja Anne. Aga mida Teie vastasite. Hea veel, et ei joonistanud!

Head päeva jätku,

17/09/2001

Uudistooteid

Filed under: junk — Sildid: — muda @ 07:25

wtcflightsim

Pole

Filed under: junk — Sildid: — muda @ 02:45
Kunagi, kui arvutid veel suhteliselt uus leiutis oli, taheti teha arvutile sellist programmi, mis tõlgiks automaatselt ühest keelest teise. Tegid siis tüübid kuskil ameerikamaal valmis sellise asja, mis pidi tõlkima inglise keelest venekeelde ja vastupidi. Katsetamiseks tehti selline test, et sisestati inglise keelne tekst, masin tõlkis selle vene keelde ning siis saadud venekeelse teksti uuesti inglise keelde.

Sisestati tekst: “the spirit is willing but the flesh is week”
Arvuti väljastas: “the vodka is good but the meet is rotten”

tahad töölt vabastust

Filed under: junk — Sildid: — muda @ 02:39

>
> KÕIGILE TÖÖTAJATELE
>
> Tööst vabastamine erijuhtudel
>
> Haigus:
> Haigus ei ole vabandus. Ka teie arsti tõend ei loe. Kui
> te arsti juurde saite minna, oleksite võinud ka tööle tulla.
>
> Surmajuhtum perekonnas:
> Pole põhjus. Surnu jaoks te nagunii enam midagi teha ei
> saa ja keegi teine võib samahästi vajalikud asjad korraldada.
> Kui te matuse hilisele ajale panete, oleme me valmis teid
> vabastama pool tundi õigest ajast varem – eeldusel, et te
> olete oma tööga valmis.
>
> Operatsioonid:
> Meie töötajate elundite eemaldamine või muutmine on keelatud
> ja see rikuks töölepingut. Me võtsime teid tööle sellisena,
> nagu te olete.
>
> Hõbe- või kuldpulmad:
> See pole mingi põhjus. Kui te 25 või isegi 50 aastat sama
> inimesega koos elate, siis olge õnnelik kui tööl võite käia.
>
> Sünnipäev:
> See, et te sündisite, ei olnud teie teene. Seetõttu pole
> mingit põhjust, miks te vaba päeva peaksite saama.
>
> Lapse sünd:
> Selliste äparduste eest pole meie firma vastutav. Pealegi – te
> juba saite lõbutseda.
>

10/09/2001

Leitnant šmidti poeg

Filed under: junk — Sildid: — muda @ 07:18

FROM:Dr ALEX MADUKA

Private Email:abbafa2@yahoo.com

Attn: THE PRESIDENT/CEO

Sir,

l am Dr ALEX MADUKA a Civil Servant in the Ministry of Health.l know this proposal will come to you as a surprise because we have not met before either physically or through correspondence.I got your contact from our chamber of commerce here in Nigeria and have no doubt in your ability to handle this proposal involving huge sum of money.

THE SUBJECT: My father CHIEF EDWARD MADUKA(Now Late) was the Royal Head of my community, ELEME (an oil rich town) in Nigeria. My community produces 5.8%of the total crude oil production in Nigeria and 0.5% of the Dollar value of each barrel is paid to my father as royalty by the Federal Government.My father was also the Chairman of ELEME Special Oil Trust Fund. In his position as the Royal head and Chairman of the Oil Trust Fund, he made some money which he left for me as the only heir to inherit.

The money is Twenty Five Million Five Hundred Thousand US Dollars($25.5m). This Money originated from the accumulated royalties between 1976-1998 . Due to poor banking system in Nigeria and political instability as a result of past Military rules (1985-1999),he deposited this Money in a Strong Room/”VAULTS” with an open beneficiary in the Apex Bank of Nigeria pending when he would finish arrangement to transfer it abroad as a CONTRACT PAYMENT. He was planning this when he died late last year of Heart Attack.

THE PROPOSAL: Just before my father died he called my attention to the money and charged me to look for a foreigner who would assist me in the transfer/investment of the funds abroad. So l would be very grateful if you could accept to help me achieve this great objective. I promise to give you 20% of the total funds transferred to your vital bank account as compensation for your assistance. Five percent (5%would be set aside to take care of all expenses we may incure during the transaction. To indicate your interest, contact me urgently and confidentially through my private Email address<abbafa2@yahoo.com> for more information and the roles you will play in this business. All the legal Documents concerning this Money will be sent to you as soon as we agreed together. May the Almighty God bless you.

Yours faithfully

Dr Alex Maduka.

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04/09/2001

Sada aastat vanadest ajalehtedest teeb ülevaate

Filed under: junk — Sildid: — muda @ 09:07

Ärrakaddunud. Torri möisakörtsi ja Sookörtsi wahhele on üks pissukene mustast nahhast reisi-kot ärrakadunud, kus ses olnud: 3 särki, 4 ninnarättikud, 1 pakud, 1 par willaseid lühhikesisukki, 1 kam, 1 hammaste harri ja 2 siggari tassenpungi, kellest teine wälja ömmeldud on. Kes nimmetatud reisi-kotti leidnud ja sedda Perdda Pernus saddulseppameistri Blabe jure wib, saab 3 rubla leidmisse waewa palka.

Jänesselja möisas saab head tobi-öllut (2 1/2 kopp. toop) wadiwisi mütud ja kui ostja mitte wägga kaugel ei ella, ilma hinnata temma jure sadetud.

Inglismaalt. Inglisma neegrisöbrade selts on üht palvekirja üllema kirriko wallitsusele saatnud, et neäripäval keiges kirrikutes üht eestpalvetwaeste negrite eest lasseks tehha, et Jummal nende rasket orjapölve pea vöttaks löppetada.

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