Oksepost

27/02/2002

Kuidas otsustatakse kellega abielluda

Filed under: junk — Sildid: — muda @ 03:40

>

>

>Tuleb leida keegi, kellele meeldivad samad asjad kui sulle. Kui sulle

>meeldib jalgpall, siis peab tüdrukule ka jalgpall meeldima ning ta peab

>sulle ôlut ja krôpse tooma.

>(Alain, 10 aastane)

>

>Ega päriselt ei otsutatagi ise, kellega abielluda. Jumal on selle juba ammu

>ära otsustanud ja eks sa siis näed, kelle ta sulle kaela määrib.

>(Kirsten, 10 aastane)

>

>ABIELLUMISEKS SOBIV IGA?

>Parim iga abiellumiseks on 23, sest siis tunned sa oma tulevast meest

>juba vähemalt 10 aastat.

>(Camille, 10 aastane)

>

>Niisugust “parimat iga” pole olemas. Peab ikka täitsa loll olema, et üldse

>

>tahta abielluda.

>(FredY, 6 aastane)

>

>MIDA TEHAKSE KOHTAMISEL?

>Kohtamine on lôbus ja seda vôimalust tuleb kasutada teineteise

>paremaks tundmaôppimiseks. Isegi poisid vôivad huvitavat juttu rääkida,

>kui neid piisavalt kaua kuulata.

>(Linette, 8 aastane)

>

>Esimesel kohtamisel räägitakse huvitavaid valesid, et oldaks nôus ka

>teisele kohtamisele tulema.

>(Martin, 10 aastane)

>

>MIS SA TEEKSID, KUI SU ESIMENE KOHTAMINE

>EBAôNNESTUKS?

>Läheksin koju ja teeksin näo, et olen surnud. Siis helistaksin ajalehtedele

>ja laseksin surmakuulutuse avaldada.

>(Craig, 9 aastane)

>

>MILLAL TOHIB SUUDELDA?

>Rikkad mehed tohivad.

>(Pamela, 7 aastane)

>

>Kui sa naist suudled, siis sa pead temaga abielluma ja lapsi tegema. See

>on tôsi.

>(Henri, 8 aastane)

>

>MIS ON PAREM – ABIELUS VôI VALLALINE OLLA?

>Ma ei tea, mis parem on, aga mina oma naisega voodisse küll ei lähe.Ma

>ei taha, et ta paksuks läheks.

>(Theodore, 8 aastane)

>

>Tüdrukutel on parem vallaliseks jääda. Poistel on küll kedagi vaja, kes

>koristaks…

>(Anita, 9 aastane)

>

>MIDA TEHA, ET ABIELU ôNNESTUKS?

>Tuleb oma naisele öelda, et ta ilus on, isegi kui ta näeb välja kui

>veoauto.

>(Richard, 10 aastane)

08/02/2002

Karl Marxi vennapojad?

Filed under: junk — Sildid: — muda @ 02:45

NATIONAL PETROLEUM CORPORATION
FOREIGN CONTRACT PAYMENT OFFICE
TEL: 234-17-757613  FAX: 234-17-592973

REF: NNPC/FILE/780/98/2002

ATTN:PRESIDENT /CEO

RE: CONTRACT NO: NNPC/PED/4754/EME/KA/01

I got your contact through the World Trade Encyclopedia, due to logistic and (Y2K) compliance with our computer network, I wish to express my
willingness to transfer an overdue contract sum of US$18,500,000.00 to your company’s account, through the Federal Reserve Bank of Nigeria resulting from debt of contract & services rendered to Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation.

I am DR. GREGORY ONWUKA the Director, Foreign Contract Payment Department Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation. I have concluded arrangements with my colleagues in the Foreign Transfer Dept., of the Federal Reserve
Bank of Nigeria and Federal Ministry of Finance to contact you secretly, however concrete arrangements have been concluded successfully for the
transfer.

This money emanated from over invoicing in a contract awarded to a foreign firm, for supply and installation of Petrochemical equipment. We discovered this amount from the manifest recently and secured a payment authority to authenticate the transfer, note that you will be entitled to share
30% of the fund, the officials 70% This deal is 100% covered from any form of enquiry, the approvals obtained will be dispatch to you via fax informing you extensively the progress on the transfer. You are requested to fax the following information urgently.

1. COMPANY’S NAME AND ADDRESS.

2. NAME AND ADDRESS OF YOUR BANK.
3. ACCOUNT NUMBER AND ACCOUNT NAME.

4. TELEX AND FAX NO. OF YOUR BANK.

5. OFFICE TELEPHONE AND FAX NUMBERS.

6. MOBILE PHONE/RESIDENTIAL PHONE NUMBERS.

We have successfully worked out a solution to effect transfer within four (4) working days. Finally, note a high degree of trust and confidentiality is required from both parties.

Looking forward to your timely response via my direct telephone line:
234-17-757613, fax: 234-17-592973.

Your urgent reply is highly anticipated.

Best regards,

DR. GREGORY ONWUKA
Director, Foreign Contract Payment (NNPC)

06/02/2002

RE: multipulti spämm

Filed under: junk — Sildid: — muda @ 07:41

ega ma kah sitem saa olla

46 Things That Never Happen in Star Trek

1) The Enterprise runs into a mysterious energy field of a type that it has encountered before.

2) The Enterprise goes to check up on a remote outpost of scientists who are all perfectly all right.

3) The Enterprise comes across a Garden-of-Eden-like planet called Paradise, where everyone is happy all the time. However, everything is soon revealed to be exactly as it seems.

4) The crew of the Enterprise discover a totally new lifeform, which later turns out to be a rather well-known old lifeform, wearing a silly hat.

5) The crew of the Enterprise are struck by a strange alien plague, for which the cure is found in the well-stocked sick-bay.

6) An enigmatic being composed of pure energy attempts to interface to the Enterprise’s computer, only to find out that it has forgotten to bring the right leads.

7) A power surge on the Bridge is rapidly and correctly diagnosed as a faulty capacitor by the highly-trained and competent engineering staff.

8) A power surge on the Bridge fails to electrocute the user of a computer panel, due to a highly sophisticated 24th century surge protection feature called a ‘fuse’.

9) The Enterprise ferries an alien VIP from one place to another without serious incident.

10) The Enterprise is captured by a vastly superior alien intelligence which does not put them on trial.

11) The Enterprise separates as soon as there is any danger.

12) The Enterprise gets involved in an enigmatic, strange, and dangerous situation, and there are no pesky aliens they can blame it on in the end.

13) The Enterprise is captured by a vastly inferior alien intelligence which they easily pacify with candy.

14) The Enterprise is involved in a bizarre time-warp phenomenon, which is in no way connected with the 20th century.

15) Somebody takes out a shuttle and it doesn’t explode or crash.

16) A major Starfleet emergency breaks out near the Enterprise, and some other ships in the area are able to deal with it to everyone’s satisfaction.

17) The shields on the Enterprise stay up during a battle.

18) The Enterprise visits the Klingon Home World on a bright, sunny day

19) An attempt at undermining the Klingon-Federation alliance is discovered without anyone noting that such an attempt, if successful, “would represent a fundamental shift of power throughout the quadrant.”

20) A major character spends the entire episode in the Holodeck without a single malfunction trapping him/her there.

21) Picard hears the door chime and doesn’t bother to say “Come.”

22) Picard doesn’t answer a suggestion with “Make it so”!

23) Picard walks up to a replicator and says, “Coke on ice.”

24) Counsellor Troi states something other than the blindingly obvious.

25) Mood rings come back in style, jeopardizing Counselor Troi’s position.

26) Worf and Troi finally decide to get married, only to have Kate Pulaski show up and disrupt the wedding by shouting, “Did he read you love poetry?! Did he serve you poisonous tea?! He’s MINE!”

27) When Worf tells the bridge officers that something is entering visual range no one says “On screen.”

28) Worf actually gives another vessel more than 2 seconds to respond to one of the Enterprise’s hails.

29) Worf kills Wesley by mistake in the holodeck, (pity this wasn’t done in “Deja Vu” then we could have seen it 5 times without rewinding the tape).

30) Wesley Crusher gets beaten up by his classmates for being a smarmy git, and consequently has a go at making some friends of his own age for a change.

31) Wesley saves the ship, the Federation, and the Universe as we know it, and EVERYONE is grateful (including the Net).

32) The warp engines start acting up a bit, but then seem to sort themselves out after a while without any intervention from boy genius Wesley Crusher.

33) Wesley Crusher tries to upgrade the warp drive and they work better than ever.

34) Beverly Crusher manages to go through a whole episode without having a hot flush and getting breathless every time Picard is in the room.

35) Guinan forgets herself, and breaks into a stand up comedy routine.

36) Data falls in love with the replicator.

37) Kirk (or Riker) falls in love with a woman on a planet he visits, and isn’t tragically separated from her at the end of the episode. or even: Kirk (or Riker) meets an attractive woman and does not fall in love]

38) The Captain has to make a difficult decision about a less advanced people which is made a great deal easier by the Starfleet Prime Directive.

39) An unknown ensign beams down as part of an away team and lives to tell the tale.

40) Spock or Data is fired from his high-ranking position for not being able to understand the most basic nuances of about one in three sentences that anyone says to him.

41) Kirk’s hair remaining consistent for more that 1 consecutive episode.

42) Kirk gets into a fistfight and doesn’t rip his shirt. (Or even, Kirk DOESN’T get into a fistfight…)

43) Kirk doesn’t end up kissing the troubled guest-female before she doesn’t sacrifice herself for him.

44) Scotty doesn’t mention the laws of physics

45) Spock isn’t the only crew member not affected by new weapon/attack by alien race/etc!! due to his “darn green blood” or “bizarre Vulcan physiology” and thus he cannot save the day.

46) The episode ends without Bones & Kirk laughing at Spock’s inability to understand the joke, and he doesn’t raise his eybrow.

01/02/2002

Leitnant Šmiti pojad

Filed under: junk — Sildid: — muda @ 02:59

MR  PETER   KABILA
FAX: 27-72-276-4560
NO 10 OSBORN PLAZA

GOSFORTH JOHANNESBURG
SOUTH AFRICA

Dear Sir,
INVESTMENT OFFER

In appreciation of your esteemed contact received
through a reliable source and the choice of your
country I wish to introduce myself, I am Mr. Peter
Kabila the son of the late Democratic Republic of
Congo President Laurent Desire Kabila of the blessed
memory. I know this letter might come to you as a
surprise but I honestly do not intend to surprise you.

I write this letter in respect of my intention to
invest the sum of US$22.6M( Twenty two million  six
hundred thousand United State Dollars) with you. I
inherited this money from my mother. This money was
got through the smuggling and sale of Diamond and
Timber when my father was the head of state. My mother
though not her legal wife used her privilege position
to engage in the business of Diamond and Timber since
she knows that her survival will depend on how much
she can out of the privilege situation.

When my father was assassinated on 16TH Jan. 01 by one
of his bodyguards Lt. Rashidi Kasereke through the
conspiracy of some top army officers that wanted to
topple him I and my mother escaped to Zimbabwe with
the box containing the money and some other valuables
because of the fear that we might be arrested by my
half brother Lt. General Joseph Kabila the present
head of state. Actually his mother and my mother are
not in the best of relationship because of whom among
them will be the first lady tussle and this ultimately
affected us their children.

Considering the relationship between Zimbabwe and the
Democratic Republic of Congo new government my mother
advised me to leave to South Africa with the boxes
containing the money. On getting to South Africa where
I have been living since then as a political refugee I
quickly deposited the boxes with a reputable security
company as a family valuables as I was afraid of being
defraud. More over I could not take such a huge
foreign currency to the bank without raising suspicion
on my person. I have the depository agreement and the
certificate of the deposit  issued to me by the
security company with me and will fax copies to you as
we progress with this transaction.

I contacted you because I don’t want to invest this
money in South Africa due to my status here as a
political Refugee. And moreover my financial adviser
is of the opinion that investing this money abroad
should be the best investment for me. I will be
honored if I can be given the privilege of investing
this money with you. Please I will appreciate it if
you contact me with the above fax number to confirm
the receipt  of my letter and for further discussion.
More also treat this letter with utmost
confidentiality because of my safety and the money. I
eagerly await your reply.

Thanks and God bless

Yours truly,
Peter Kabila

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